There are few artists who are more well-versed in the cathartic powers of music than MOTHICA. 

Channelling the intimacies of trauma, recovery, and reckoning with a life you never expected to be living, over the last five years her songs have resonated deeply with fans across the world. Delving into the often-uncomfortable truths of living with mental illness, the long-standing effects of abuse, and the battle to cope without unhealthy vices, McKenzie Ellis has become an unlikely spokesperson for the darker, often-untouched sides of the human condition. 

Her fanbase growing with the recent release of ‘KISSING DEATH’ – part album, part visual spectacle – as her European tour makes a stop in a rainy London for a sold-out show, a queue wraps around the venue. 

As bodies filter through security and into the room, Leeds’ Artio are waiting to greet them. Vocalist Rae Brazill owning the stage with their stunning vocal displays, from the opening notes of the commanding ‘Babyface’ they’ve got the crowd in the palm of their hand. A defiant chant of “off with their heads!” sounding out during album track ‘Sertraline’ and some killer vocals from guitarist Rob Arkle on ‘You Set My House On Fire’, Rae encourages the room to jump during dance-ready anthem ‘Unhinged’. With a closing double-punch of ‘Product Of My Own Design’ and ‘Pyrokid’ — it won’t be long until they’re selling out their own headline shows in rooms this size. 

Tasked with following up their set is Atlanta’s Starbenders, who do so in style. Dialling up the dramatics from the moment they step onstage, the ripping opening notes of ‘Blood Moon’ deliver a pure shot of rock ’n’ roll adrenaline. Frontwoman Kimi Shelter’s throat-shredding screams soaring over crushing riffs, as she startles the room with the instruction to “Wake up motherfuckers!” – they gladly oblige. The slow-building gentle country grooves of ‘Seven White Horses’ taking hold before the otherworldly ambience of freshly released single ‘Tokyo’ captivates every pair of eyes looking their way, by the time the four-piece strut away from their set they’ve made a whole host of new fans.

The lights going down as a red hue is cast over the stage, the warm up is complete, and the main event is here. The distinctive ominous notes of ‘Kissing Death’ album opener ‘The Void’ chiming in as McKenzie Ellis walks onstage, there’s no doubting that MOTHICA has arrived. Lengths of red fabric cloaked around her, hanging loosely around her arms and moving with her as she dances to the haunting instrumentals of ‘Toxins’, her honeyed delivery of “Come closer to me” encourages everyone in the room to shuffle further forward into the packed-out room.

“Hello London! I’m here all the way from America, and I’m going to show you a little bit of the American Southwest now,” she smiles whilst introducing country-tinged single ‘Mirage’.

Affectionally dubbed the ‘yeehaw-thica’ single, its bouncy chorus sees feet shuffling and bodies dancing, MOTHICA looking out across the room with a smile plastered across her face. Reflecting on the last time she appeared on a London stage – at the iconic OVO Arena Wembley opening for Black Veil Brides and Halestorm – she acknowledges that tonight is a lot of people’s first MOTHICA show, and it’s clear that she’s determined to make it one to remember. The staggeringly defiant ‘Buzzkill’ – written about abuse the musician experienced when she was younger – followed by her emotionally wrought cover of Bring Me The Horizon’s ‘Can You Feel My Heart?’, as her time on stage reaches its mid-point – MOTHICA couldn’t look more at home.

On a base level, it’s exactly what a rock show is supposed to be. A chance to walk into a room filled with strangers and expel all of the fears, anxieties and frustrations building inside of you, for the 50-minute duration of the MOTHICA experience, everything that exists outside the doors of the London venue is forgotten. Taking the room with her into the ‘Afterlife’ as the track’s eerie introduction builds into an explosion, the 29-year-old swaggers across stage as her band deliver driving rhythms and head-banging riffs. Slotting 2020 track ‘VICES’ back into the setlist – much to the excitement of the old-school fans in attendance – the doom-tinged opening chords vibrate through the room before her delicate vocals take hold. 

“Since you’re here at a MOTHICA show… you probably know who I am,”  the musician smiles.

“I want to tell you why I love moths so much,” she continues.

Telling the story of the kinship she felt whilst seeing moths swarm around a lamppost as a teenager, fascinated by the manner in which they repeatedly flew themselves into the light, she explains:

“When I was 13, I was told that I had major depressive disorder. I didn’t know what that meant, I just knew that I had this deep void inside me that nothing could ever fill. I tried drinking Jägermeister, I tried hanging out with boys in bands… I tried everything I could to stop being me.”

“When I was 15 years old, I thought I’d seen enough of the world… I tried to take my own life. I’m so happy I lived to play my first headline show in London tonight.”

A voice from the crowd announcing, “YOU SAVED MY LIFE, MOTHICA!”, she looks out across the room, speaking to each and every person within it.

“We are not put onto this earth to suffer; we are here to flourish… This song is called ‘Forever Fifteen’.”

Phone lights raised into the air with paper hearts covering the lenses, the room is illuminated for the emotional moment. A fair share of cathartic tears shed from fans before the full band return for the song’s outro – increasing the tempo in the process – by the time the synths of ‘Exit Plan’ ring out, it’s time to party again. Deliciously dark love song ‘The Reaper’ getting everybody moving before a euphoric crowd chant of “Fuck forgiveness” signals the crashing drum intro of ‘Another High’, as MOTHICA announces her ‘last song’ – the soaring ‘Oblivion For Two’ – the energy surging through the room suggests that no one is ready for the night to be over just yet.

Luckily, as the strobes shine back into life and the band return to the stage after a swift 30-second break, the encore is in full swing. Holding out her microphone to the front rows for the anthemic chorus of ‘CASUALTY’, MOTHICA takes one last chance to speak to the people who have taken so much from her music. 

“There’s one thing I want you to take away from this show,” she begins.

“If you’re a person like me who feels too much… That is not your weakness. It’s your superpower.”

Launching into the driving aggression of ‘Sensitive’, it’s a staggering end to the evening, but MOTHICA has one last surprise in store for London. 

“I didn’t know if I wanted to bring this cover back, but when I played Europe, I realised there’s something that we all have in common,” she says as green lighting shines upon the stage.

“We have all seen the 2001 hit feature ‘Shrek’.”

Every voice in the room cranked up to full volume for a rousing cover of Smash Mouth’s ‘All Star’, it’s a reminder of what this is all about. A moment that brings a grin to every face in the building, the purpose of the evening has not been to romanticise the darkness, but to acknowledge that even in our brightest times – it will always be there. 

Blowing a kiss and thanking the crowd before stepping offstage, it’s in moments like this where we can find the lightness in life. Hundreds of people singing together, each with a different reason to resonate with the words coming out of their mouths, music has the power to bring us together in ways nothing else can. Tonight, MOTHICA delivered the perfect showcase of that magic.